There are a couple of things to know about getting help for a loved one for alcohol or drug problems; and it can get tricky. The good news is that treatment is effective and there is always hope of change. Once the problem is identified, it is important to understand the severity and breadth of the issue as these may range from mild to severe problems. Other issues, such as co-occurring mental health problems, financial problems, grief/loss, and employment stress, can further complicate the situation. Therefore, not everyone needs the same amount, and the same type of intervention and treatment.
What is addiction/alcoholism?
Substance use disorders are complex and multi-layered psychological disorders that range in severity. They are progressive and can often be destructive if the person is not able to get help. The presence of other problems and co-occurring disorders may complicate the presentation.
What are the kinds of treatment options?
The intensity of available treatments range from detoxification, inpatient, intensive outpatient, outpatient, and aftercare. Treatment should always be coordinated between providers and the treatment team.
How am I effected by the addiction?
The family members are typically impacted by the stress and denial of the problem and at times can be just as overwhelmed as the loved one who has the addiction. It is important to gain clarity and maintain self-care before proceeding in an attempt to confront your loved one. Also, it is important to know the difference between enabling and helping. In my practice, I often see loved ones become hypervigilant about trying to get their loved one help when they refuse. Success is determined by knowing what the leverage points are and in being able to have support to set boundaries for treatment. What are the reasons your spouse may seek or explore treatment as an option and what are the consequences if he or she chooses not to participate?
How can we get him/her to go to a program?
No one, in my 15 years of experience as an addiction therapist, wakes up one day and says, “I am having such a great day today, I think I will go to rehab.” Considering that getting help is scary, it is often a demoralizing, humbling experience, and it is typically never an enjoyable time. Getting someone to consider treatment is tricky and involves the right timing, motivation, boundaries, and hope that treatment can help. Motivation is something that I find to be a fluid, and flexible process where a person can be motivated one day or at one moment, and feel unmotivated to get better a few hours later. Getting the person to see what everyone else around them sees means getting the person to raise awareness of addiction issues that they are struggling with and making a plan for change and treatment. Just because they say no to treatment today, not all hope is lost. Tomorrow is another day.
Why are they drinking more now than last year?
Addictions are progressive processes that get worse over time in increase of frequency, amounts, tolerance, breadths, and impact (this is not always the case, but mostly). The person with the problem begins to use the substance(s) as the chief and only method to cope with their life. Certainly, from this perspective, we can understand why they may balk at your suggestion of taking away their only coping method.
What should I do now to get help?
Schedule a consultation with an addiction therapist to decide on a best course of action. In my practice, I work with both the family member(s) and the person with the addiction issue to create a comprehensive plan to help identify an individually tailored intervention and correct level of treatment needed.
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